Soccer – A Gentleman’s Sport Played by Lunatics

Posted: May 8, 2010 by undergroundfisherman in Sport
Tags: , , , , ,

This Sunday is the final day of what has been a great Premiership season. Leading by a point with 90 minutes from the title, all Chelsea have to do now is remain calm under pressure and overcome Wigan in what should be a relatively easy challenge. Unfortunately, “remaining calm” is not always that easy for some footballers – some of the most talented players in the England also happen to be quite mental… Here’s a few examples

Joey Barton

9.jpg Joey Barton image by vanashefron2

Joey Barton could be playing for England by now if he wasn't always surrounded by police

Possibly the most insane person playing football at the moment. The Newcastle midfielder seems to have spent more time in the dock than on the field, and his once-promising career looks to have hit a brick wall. He’s been involved in a number of very serious incidents; at a December 2004 Christmas party during his time at Manchester City , he put out a cigar in the face of teammate Jamie Tandy. The incident left Mr. Tandy with a terrible scar under his eye, and he claims it has ruined his life, turning to drink after the incident and losing his contract with City.

That summer, during a team trip to Thailand, Barton was in hot water again, this time he had attacked a 15 year-old Everton fan. When teammate Richard Dunne tried to intervene, Barton attempted to bite him! Also during his time at City (they must have been completely sick of him by this stage) he attacked Ousmane Dabo during a training-ground altercation, leaving him out of action for several weeks. Dabo said “The fact that I look like the Elephant Man and will not be able to play again this season is bad enough, but what I find most shocking is that he [Barton] struck me first from behind and then repeatedly when I was down on the ground. He is a coward and his actions are despicable”

It seems as though violence runs in the Barton family, and half-brother Michael was convicted of killing a black student with an ice-pick in a racially motivated murder in 2005. There are plenty of other Joey Barton-related incidents, but frankly, I don’t want to keep you here all day, so here’s a list of other crimes taken from his Wikipedia page “He was arrested on suspicion of assault and criminal damage after an alleged argument with a taxi driver in Liverpool while going to his hotel after a match on 13 March 2007. He was cleared of this charge in May 2008. On 27 December 2007, Barton was arrested on suspicion of assault in the Church Street area of Liverpool city centre following an incident which took place at 5:30 am. He was remanded in custody on 28 December since the alleged offence was committed whilst he was on bail for two prior offences; the presiding magistrate noted “I also have to consider the safety of the public – you lashed out indiscriminately”. He was later charged with common assault and affray, and was sentenced to six months in prison on 20 May 2008. Barton admitted to being an alcoholic and claimed he wanted to achieve “total abstinence” in order to improve his behaviour.

His time at Newcastle has been relatively quiet, but he’s making his way back from injury and the Geordies are back in the Premiership, so expect to see lots more fun and games next year.

Craig Bellamy

bellamygolf.jpg Craig Bellamy PGA tour image by 23carragoldlfc

Craig Bellamy's skill with a golf club has been widely documented

The Welsh striker is well known for his fiery temper, which often tends to spill over into madness. The best example, of course, is his attack on John Arne Riise during his time at Liverpool. The row began on a team holiday in Portugal during – of all things – a karaoke session. Later on in the night, still wound up from the disagreement (presumably about who got to sing the next Tina Turner song), Bellamy followed Riise up to his hotel room and drunkenly attacked him with a golf club. An eyewitness report stated “He suddenly grabbed a golf club and went looking for John, and when he found him, he waded in, hacking at his legs with the club. All hell broke loose and John suffered a lot of bruising. Craig was out of control and shouting that John had belittled him in front of the lads.”

Craig now plays for Manchester City, his seventh club in nine years. His inability to settle down probably has a lot to do with the fact that he’s stone mad. He left Newcastle in 2004 after he had a very public falling out with manager Graeme Souness. In fact, Bellamy manges to find trouble wherever he goes. He’s been arrested a good few times and gives off an overall impression of being a bit of a knob.

John Terry


Keep an eye on your girlfriend while John Terry's around

The 2009 Dad of the Year according to the powers that be at Daddies ketchup, Terry will be receiving no such honour this year. The formerly squeaky-clean Chelsea defender has been involved in a number of dodgy incidents in recent times. The best known of these, of course, is his very public falling out with ex-Chelsea teammate Wayne Bridge, after Terry had an affair with his fiancée. The image of Bridge refusing to shake Terry’s hand is one of the enduring images of this season.

Aside from that, he was caught offering behind-closed-doors tours of the Chelsea training ground in return for money. His father, Ted, was recently found dealing Class A drugs in a trendy wine bar in Essex.

Before these incidents, Terry was seen as a superb role model for young people, but when we look closer at his past we can see that this may be a big mistake. Immediately after the September 11th attacks, Terry and some other Chelsea teammates (including Frank Lampard and Eidur Gudjohnson were fined two weeks wages for drunkenly mocking grieving American tourists at an airport. He’s also been involved in the odd obligatory nightclub incidents, and is said to have once spent £13,000 in three hours worth of betting, ironically with former friend Wayne Bridge.


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